…Slowly the sky got darker… My eyesight was slowly fading
away like an illusion. I was lost in the greasy dark forest. I was scaling and
swaying in the trees. The moon was glistening in the sky. Then I hear a strange
heavy bitter sound in the willow trees. Then sky got darker it was conquering
over me. Then I heard heavy thunder striking in the moon rainforest. Then I saw
on the peak of the hill. The ancient Beast Statue hidden in the cave. Legend
says you have to complete the test to become the dragon warrior. So off I went
and disappeared forever…
Hi, Julian. Interesting story! Some of your word choices are great, but some of them did not seem to fit quite so well. For example, I don't understand how the forest was greasy. I'm sure it's possible that it was greasy, but there would need to be some explanation about that in the story so the reader could understand. Your story itself is quite good, and I would be interested in reading a longer version of it. Keep up the writing!
ReplyDelete