108 mile an hour winds struck the earth ripping up the
dirt. The force of the wind shattered
masses of glass windows. …The violent storm was… shaking the trees like they
were being tortured, roots shuddered wildly like they were being summoned to
the gods but they were withstanding, but soon I realized that the trees
couldn’t withstand because a sudden gust
of wind ripped it from the ground like it was being lifted and chucked to the dirt by an invisible hand.
The storm was taking over.
Dear Oscar,
ReplyDeleteYour vivid choice of descriptive words gives strength and power to your writing. The imagery you create is unique.
Before you finalize your writing read it aloud to yourself to be certain your words flow properly. Be aware of your sentence construction also. You have a run-on sentence that lacks clarity.
Your verb usage gives personification qualities to the wind. It's ferocity is frightening!
The mythological references you included add an interesting perspective to your writing.
Gina Felton (Team 100)